Ravenous Wolf

I've really been struggling with some things this weekend. Sometimes I despise weekends because loneliness creeps in, and other times I love being alone and having some me time. This weekend was not one of the good ones.

It was just hard.

This guy in church bore his testimony yesterday and said something that really spoke to me. It hit hard. He said how he has always been perceived by others as this happy, careless, optimistic person. He said he was happy, don't get him wrong, but he said, "You know, even people like me go through tough things". He said he woke up one morning just really depressed, lonely, and so sad he didn't feel like he could get up. He immediately got on his knees and prayed to God, asking Him if He really really loved him. He pleaded for an answer. He said as he was getting ready a while later for work, the most peaceful, serene feeling came over him and he knew that God really, truly, loved him.

I teared up...and I don't even know him well. Because it's exactly how I feel right now.

I read this phrase today and it spoke home to me... Alma 5:60

"And now I say unto you that the good shepherd doth call after you; and if you will hearken unto his voice he will bring you into his fold, and ye are his sheep; and he commandeth you that ye suffer no ravenous wolf to enter among you, that ye may not be destroyed"

Satan is a ravenous wolf to me. He tries so hard to get me to be discouraged and to feel unimportant to God and to others, to the point that it literally destroys me. It's been one of the worst weekends of my life, because of him...

I want God to 'bring me into his fold'. I want to feel that serene feeling my friend felt.

Submission

This evening before I did my study, I wrote down answers I am searching for...or desires I have that I hope and pray He will grant.

Interesting what I read.

One of the things I wrote down was that I want to press on...and that even though I have not met someone yet to marry, that I just need to be happy being ME. A single me. And love it, despite my wishes/desires. I need to enjoy the things I do every day and know that who I am and what I am doing is important.

This phrase caught my attention...and I think relates so well...

"...and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord" (Mosiah 24:15).
That's exactly what I needed to hear. I need to submit to His will...and be cheerful about it and have patience...because He sees the bigger picture in my life, and knows just when and where and how it needs to all happen for me.