The trial of faith

I think, by far, my most favorite scripture this week is Ether 12:6...

"...faith is things which are hoped for and not seen; wherefore, dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith".

So what does that exactly mean to me?

I feel like I somewhat understand and see how this relates to my life. I think for a long time, God has "tried" my faith. And I think a lot of times, I have failed Him. I just have this feeling that He is going to keep trying me again and again, over and over just to see if what I want for my future is really what I desperately want,

or sort of half-heartedly want.

Lashing back

I was just reading Ether 7.

Kib, I think, is an amazing man. His own son captures him, his nephew goes against him in a war, and yet there is no record of Kib "lashing back". What does it take to be a person like Kib? I read this little thought I had written in the footnotes by M. Catherine Thomas in her book Spiritual Lightening...

"We are not judged by what others do to us; we are judged by how we react to what they do to us".

I think that's a hard thing to take in. Lots of times people have done hurtful things to me, and I want to lash out-I really do. And sometimes--that happens.

And then I regret it.

And then I feel like I'm to blame.

I think this little quote is good counsel...not that I have to immediately forgive every single person that wrongs me right away...but that I just need to react differently.

Turn to God, instead--first.

I love how her thought continues...

"For how shall we ever learn Christlike love unless we have a chance to practice it in the face of opposition?"

And I think that is what Kib does in Ether 7. Extreme opposition for him...and yet, he doesn't ever 'lash back'. I wonder what his prayers were like at that time...

Indebted

Today I was on my way to work and suddenly started thinking of my mission.

I turned off the radio and started to do my "thinking in circles". I know this is weird, but whenever I can't sleep, and I have the "niggies" like crazy, I close my eyes and start at the MTC and then circle around through all the areas I served in on my mission to Taiwan, ending at the airport coming home. Memories lead from one experience to the next, and pretty soon, I am relaxed and ready to sleep.

Today, I just did it on the way to work because I was feeling so touched and tendered as I started to think of my blessings...and all the blessings that have come into my life because of my mission.

Tonight in my gospel study, I read this phrase...

Those that, "realize and know from whence their blessings come" (Mormon 5:10).

The blessing of my missionary service came straight from the arms of God. I am so grateful,

Indebted.

My musings blog

I have loved blogging.

It's become an outlet to my inner self.

Every time I read the scriptures, I write something in my 'thoughts' journal-something I started back in my first years of college. I haven't always done so, but when I do, I seem to gain a whole lot more out of my study. Since being introduced to blogging, I have found that it is just one other outlet that I can express myself and keep another 'journal' of some sorts. This blog is dedicated to my spiritual musings. I won't be posting every time I read something...just maybe one really good musing I had in the week...and maybe this will be a Sunday thing that I start--something I can do to keep the Sabbath day holy, and keep my thoughts on Him for the day.

So, here goes. My thoughts may not even make sense to someone else reading these posts...but they will to me. Hopefully in some way it touches someone else, too, as much as it touched me that day.